What the World Needs Now: Empathetic Leaders
We’re navigating turbulent times. Along with adjusting to the loosening of restrictions related to the COVID-19 pandemic, we’re facing the difficult and complex issues of prejudice and racism in our communities. For leaders, the situation demands a delicate balance between the human needs of our employees and the business needs of our company. Finding the balance, along with the appropriate ways to respond, challenges all of us to do better.
Empathy is defined as the ability to sense another person’s emotions and imagine what he or she might be thinking or feeling. In other words, it’s the capacity to place yourself in someone else’s position. Empathetic leadership is important when business is usual. Right now, as employees deal with fear, uncertainty, and anger, it’s imperative.
As I consult with clients, a common theme is how leaders can show up for their teams in ways that matter and make a difference. While people like to say, “we’re all in this together,” the reality is everyone has very different perspectives and will have very different experiences. Good leaders do more than understand this. They’re able to put themselves in another’s shoes and lead with empathy. It all starts with an empathetic conversation. Here are some dos and don’ts.
How to engage in empathetic conversations
Do:
Acknowledge the person raising the topic or concern.
Provide space for them to express what’s going on. (Silence can be awkward, but don’t work to fill in voids in the conversation.)
Be authentic. Respond specifically and personally. Try to feel the emotion they are feeling even if your experience isn’t the same as the person you’re speaking with.
Show deep care. As a leader, your role is to be with the person in that moment by acknowledging their feelings, even if you may not fully understand or agree.
Be humble. We’re all figuring the situation out, so don’t feel like you have to have all the answers in that moment.
Ask for help. When leaders admit they don’t have everything figured out, it helps build trust and opens the door for team members to feel comfortable asking for help when they need it.
Focus on each individual’s well-being. Make sure they’re in a place where they can get additional support if needed, such as through your employer’s EAP program.
Avoid:
Trying too hard to relate to someone else’s experience. It’s enough to listen and respond with genuine interest and compassion.
Speaking at length. As a leader, in that moment of sharing your goal is listening and being with the person.
Taking things personally. At times, the person you’re speaking with may say triggering things. Keep your focus on the deeper needs or feelings being expressed.
Trying to fix or taking the person away from where they are emotionally. The best way to help people process their emotions right now is to simply listen. It’s not about encouraging them to feel differently than they do.
If you don’t feel like empathy comes naturally or if you’re looking to enhance your skills as you lead your team into the next normal, I’m here to help. Contact me to explore how a mix of consultative resources and coaching can enhance understanding and accelerate collaboration, especially during uncertain times.